A Toronto vegan blabs on about crafting, food, and her life in general.

Monday, December 18, 2006

Silly spam.

Lately, I've been getting tonnes o'spam to my personal email account - usually with attached gifs touting the wonders of this stock or that stock, along with nonsensical text. Sometimes I amuse myself by reading the text as if it is a real email from someone. This is the most recent one that somehow got through my aggressive junk mail filter:

Better the devil you know than the devil you don't Why have a dog and bark yourself? Common sense ain't common Be careful what you wish for, you might just get it

[gif inserted here]

It was probably a waste of time anyway Little things please little minds Jam tomorrow and jam yesterday, but never jam today (from Alice in Wonderland) If wishes were horses, pigs would fly
Two's company, three's a crowd He that lives too fast, goes to his grave too soon While the cat is away, the mice will play
Little things please little minds You can't teach an old dog new tricks Health is better than wealth The way to a man's heart is through his stomach (attributed to Ania Ras, Poland)
There's no arguing with the barrel of a gun Where there's a will there's a way Don't put the cart before the horse He who laughs last laughs best
Never, Never allow anyone to persuade you to suspend your common sense He who laughs last laughs longest He's all hat and no cattle If you can't join them, beat them
Give a man a fish and you feed him for a day; teach a man to fish and you feed him for a lifetime Cobbler, stick to thy last Possible Interpretation: All style and no substance It takes all sorts to make a world
Alternate Version: the ironic thing about life is that you never get out alive Thats the straw that broke the camels back This was a referance to the high wages paid to garbage collectors at one time Power attracts the corruptible -from Dune series, Frank Herbert
Grow where you are planted Alternate: If at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried Kill two birds with one stone Barking dogs seldom bite
Never shove your Granny when she's shaving Nothing succeeds like success You can take a horse to water, but a pencil must lead Money is honey and the richman jocks is always funny Money talks You scratch my back and I'll scratch yours
Two's company, three's a crowd He that lives too fast, goes to his grave too soon While the cat is away, the mice will play

Sounds like "Gino McCann" is trying to tell me something serious. I wonder what it is. Really, I just wish he would use proper punctuaction.



Blogger stegan said...

My curiosity with those emails is- what exactly are they trying to sell me? The great big book of cliches???

1:52 PM, December 18, 2006

Blogger michelleknits said...

Though I don't like when people use cliches in their day-to-day writing or speech when they mean to communicate an otherwise authentic experience, I secretly love cliches on their own. They are very fun. I mess up cliches all the time. Have you seen Trixie? Emily Watson plays a character (Trixie!) who is just like that. AA has written some really nice poetry using spam emails and cliches, methinks.

2:52 PM, December 18, 2006

Anonymous girl least likely to said...

hee!! those crazy almost-poetic spam emails kill me.

8:16 PM, December 27, 2006


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