A Toronto vegan blabs on about crafting, food, and her life in general.

Thursday, May 10, 2007

It's review time at work. They're a little late, but they always are. At the beginning of the week, we were told that they had to be done by tomorrow. No biggie - we've done away with filling out the Review Questionnaire so it's really just a long chat about where we are, where we want to go any problems we might be having and what our yearly increase is. The boy had his two days ago, as did everyone else and by the end of the day, it was too late to do mine. I found out today that mine will be tomorrow, partly because my reviews take energy! I've been given "homework" this year to do before the review - decide what I want out of the next year - plus I'm having a pre-review chat with the creative director/big boss to dicuss these things, then I'm having the review. Um. I didn't know I was so complacent.

The problem, I suppose, is that I am never really sure where I want to go. I don't know what I want out of the next year. I'm sure I want something... but what is that something? I've moved into a new role recently, a role I've never really tried out before. I'm now delegating work to the more junior designers - something I always let others do. I mean, I struggle with keeping my own work on track, let alone anyone else's! I'm very easily distracted. I'm not great with client meetings, so we've phased those out of my duties. I don't want to be just a designer - I want to be involved in our work at a higher level. I'd like to continue being involved in the conceptual process. But I do not have this vision of what or where I want to be that I feel I am supposed to have.

I mean, am I alone? Does everyone have these yearly plans and 5 year plans? I've just never been able to nail that stuff down. Long-term goals? What are those? I feel as though I'm constantly in an uphill climb to being me, but that final vision of myself is fuzzy and too far away.

UPDATE. Sometimes things are just so freaking obvious. I know what I want. A short discussion with the boy and it all became clear! More later...


Anonymous Sophie said...

Yup, I hear you!
Do you belong to the "X" Generation? I do! So does my husband and many of our friends. No, no, I'm not being sarcastic. It's a well-known fact. We Gen-X-er's are always ruminating about what we want to do with our lives and at the age of 37, I still don't know. But I'm one step closer to reaching my goal, than I was 2 years ago. I'm volunteering at two different design positions and loving it.
I went back to school in my 30's to study design and I'm currently unemployed AND still paying a student loan...am I depressing you yet? Oh yeah, there's more - I don't own a home and have no plans for offspring yet, no pets, no wheels but I finally have a sense of direction - yippee :D

9:18 PM, May 10, 2007


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